Auugghh somebody just buy me these shoes

The other day my friend’s Dad said we looked “like a couple of nerds.” I’d just purchased myself a new winter hat from GapKids, a boys size small, fleece-lined with ear flaps. Thought it was awesome, but now I’m doubting that style decision & every one I ever made before it.

Clearly it’s time for a style upgrade. Firstly, I hate my shoes. All my shoes are stupid. I mean, I get compliments on that one pair of purple boots I got secondhand, BUT the tread’s worn down, which means I’m always slipping & almost-falling. Not just drunk, not just on icy sidewalks— but during uncalled-for, easy-walking circumstances. At some point within the next 10 years, I plan to get them re-treaded. But, uggghhhh so much work to doooo thinnnnggss, you guys.

So. Can somebody please buy me these shoes? I know times are tight, so I skipped directly to the sale section. Didn’t even glance at anything full price. We will both rest easy, knowing these choices are practical. Just buy them for me, size 6.5. Please & thanks thanks thanks.
Nine West “Lustre” - only $49.99! These’re a Rachel Zoe pick (except a different color), which helps me (you) feel confident in my selection.


Everybody Shoes “Tamara” - only $189.99! Are these not the most beautiful brown boots you’ve ever seen? Are they not my style precisely? Am I not crying right now, wanting them so badly?


Everybody Shoes “Leslie” - only $139.99! Daaaaamn these would look so adorable with black tights and dresses. On meeee.


Etienne Aigner “Venezia” - only $129.99! Dying, dying. Want you, love you, need you. Please be mine.