In a New Zealand minute — Guest post by global nomad Mike C.

Editor’s Note: Mike C. & I became pals 10 years ago, when well-intentioned yet totally creepy newspaper advisor cracked us up everyday. These days, Mike’s a bit of a nomad, after picking up & moving to New Zealand this fall. Here, he explains the main differences he’s found between New York & New Zealand thus far.


After living in New York for the past two years, I knew that moving to New Zealand would be quite a change. Either way I was ready to try something new, so I traded in crowded subway cars and busy sidewalks for a country that boasts nine sheep for every one human. Nearly 9000 miles away from home, I’ve been soaking up every ounce of the culture here, at least the most ridiculous and unimportant parts. Allow me to share:

• New Zealanders can be extremely dry and quick-witted. This is true to the point that you really can’t tell if they hate you or not. My manager at the bookstore has me convinced that if I nod off in the break room, I will wake up to the horror of a letter opener in my eye. In the States, I can tell after a few minutes if someone dislikes me… I appreciate the lucidity of that.
  
  
• New Zealand’s national symbol is the flightless and fast-disappearing Kiwi. It is most likely a fierce and intimidating creature. Who cares if it can’t fly? I’m sure it has telekinetic powers or something. And damn is that thing cute. Nothing would ever attack this little guy.
  
  
• New Zealand legend has it that the creation of the North and South Islands of the country can be traced back to a boy name Maui, a magic fishhook, and a giant whale. America’s beginnings are not nearly as interesting as this. Skeptics of this story will point to the lunacy of a whale doubling as a sizable nation, but don’t listen to them. They’re idiots.
  
  
• Prominent New Zealanders are featured on their bills, rather than just political icons. Furthermore, they choose candid illustrations of these people to emphasize the country’s laid back attitude towards life. See how they’ve captured Sir Edmund Hillary’s youthful exuberance? How refreshing!
  
  
  
  
• Remember the rat-tail? I do. I rocked that badboy from the 2nd to the 4th grade. I was never short of friends, and the ladies— well, they were looking. My mother actually cried when we cut it off, and she saved it in a bag for years. (OK, even I’m creeped out by that now looking back.) Either way, New Zealanders didn’t get the memo that it was a passing early 90’s fad. It’s still really popular here.
  
  
• Other points of interest: Mayonnaise on pizza, awe-inspiring landscapes and views, the term “sweet as,” and freedom from rodents.

Overall, this is a truly amazing (and quirky) country. I look forward to taking in even more of it in the coming weeks, and maybe even growing out my tail again. For Mom, of course.


Check out Mike C.’s “Being Magellan” travel blog at mrchechile.blogspot.com for more.