Hangin’ with the D-list at the Chiller Theater Expo — Guest post by Sharon

Editor’s Note: Sharon is a former co-worker who previously guest blogged about Dark Knight’s similarities to The Crow. Today she exhibits proof that the Karate Kid hasn’t aged much since the film debuted. Behold her Chiller Theater Expo experience!


Fame is a fickle bitch, as they say. One day you’re on the red carpet, groupies and paparazzi clamoring for a glimpse, your mailbox flooded with invites to award shows and the Playboy Mansion… the next you’re signing autographs for $30 a pop in the Parsippany Hilton.

Two weeks ago I attended the bi-annual Chiller Theater Expo— a no holds barred train wreck of monumental proportions. And by train wreck, I mean most awesome event ever.

It’s a place where you can gawk at Barry Williams while he eats a Caesar salad. Where you can squeeze Morgan Fairchild’s tiny doll hand and confirm she must have made a pact with Satan to look so suspiciously young. Where in one fell swoop, you can chat up Corey Haim, Ralph Macchio and Leslie Nielsen.

The Expo is basically a smorgasbord of “celebs” sitting at tables behind stacks of 8x10 glossies, black Sharpies in hand. The signs at each table bear their names along with pricing, which varies from person to person (ie. “Autographed Photo: $20, Photo with Your Camera: $30”). You stroll around and talk to them, feeling like you are in some weird celebrity zoo. You say “Oh my GOD!” and “Isn’t that the guy who was in..?” a lot.

Here is what I learned from my day at the Expo:

• Ralph Macchio is 47 and looks about 20 (see photo at top). He is still adorable. He’s also my friend Christy’s future husband although he doesn’t know it yet.
  
• Almost 400 General Lees were wrecked during the filming of the Dukes of Hazzard. I am considering changing my lame car horn to sound like the General Lee’s.
  
• Barry Williams is the king of merch and swag. He even had authentic Brady Bunch tiki idols for sale ready to be autographed. And he likes salad.
  
• Brian O’Halloran (“Dante” from Clerks— photo at right) is just about the nicest guy you want to meet and one of the only ones there who didn’t charge for a photo (along with Carol Spinney — see below).
  
• The actor who played Boba Fett probably would have sold more autographs if he came dressed as Boba Fett.
  
• Rumor has it, Corey Haim was bringing groupies up to his room every three hours. He was never— and still isn’t— my favorite Corey.
  
• Carol Spinney, the voice of Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch, is so sweet I want to adopt him as my grandpa. Plus nobody could look sharper in a Nehru collar.
  
• Fan boys LOVE Linda Hamilton. Her line was the longest, and they all wanted to hug her. She was sweet and hugged them back.
  
• The actor who played Jason from Friday the 13th was there claiming to be the “REAL” Jason. It reminded me of Ray’s Pizza— but scarier.

Want to see this spectacle for yourself? The Chiller Theater Expo makes its way back to Jersey in April. For more info, click to chillertheatre.com.