Some horrible things that happened today include smashing my face against a wall, and watching Ed McMahon rap

Last night around 4:30am I felt SURPRISED when my face slammed into a wall real hard. I’ve actually been waiting for this to happen since I moved into this apartment, so I guess I’m glad to get it over with, sort of.

See, the one drawback to my awesome huge studio apartment is the narrow, winding hallway leading to the bathroom— NOT easy to navigate in the middle of the night when you’re all squinty & trying not to wake up all the way. You guys know what I’m talking about. Usually I do the Helen Keller/Frankenstein thing with my hands, feeling my way to & fro.

I might’ve forgot to do that last night. It’s tough to remember what happened before I took that corner too sharp & my face slammed into the wall. Oh god it hurt so bad & was so startling. I made the saddest whimpering sounds, and then afterwards I couldn’t fall back asleep ‘cause I kept checking/double-checking for nosebleeds. Really made me value life, though. And no bruise this morning, somehow! Really also valuing a bruiseless face.

So. That was the 1st horrible thing that happened in the last 24 hours. The other horrible thing was stumbling upon the new ad campaign for freecreditreport.com, featuring Ed “one line at a time” McMahon. Parts 1 & 2 below.

I mean, he does an OK job for being Ed McMahon. And I get that it’s memorable & effective when famous old guys cruise the ‘hood in velour & chains to call things “wack” etc. I’m hip, I’m with it, I understand things. I also agree everybody’s entitled to a free credit report if it helps them get their mojo back again.

But I also feel very embarrassed when I watch these ads. It’s similar to how I felt when my nose slammed into the wall. A little vulnerable, a little ashamed. Not as much the throbbing ache across the nose-bone, but the other stuff definitely.

What do you guys think?


Previously on SARAHSPY:
— I would be a little sadder about TRL ending had I known it was still on the air
— What do you say when you talk to yourself?
— One thing I’ll sure miss (not miss) about my neighborhood: Dead Doll Garden
— Whoa! Chef Julia Child was a WWII spy!