“Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one?!” — Guest post by April

Editor’s note: I know April from my ol’ zine days, and have always enjoyed her celeb-befriending tales (from Anderson Cooper to Michael Stipe to Paul Rudd, just to name a hot few). April recently began doing stand-up in the L.A. area, where she currently resides. In her spare time she collects ridiculous Facebook ads— and she shares her favorites of these so far in today’s guest blog!

LOOK. AT. THIS. GUY. Is he wearing nothing but a NECKTIE?! This is not encouraging me to patronize his business.



Real women tell their stories about relationships, parenting, beauty, work, hula-hooping in a halter top, and more!



If you were putting off learning knife defense techniques because you thought you didn’t have the time, don’t worry—it doesn’t take years, it only takes ONE DAY.



Okay, this one is pretty much on point.



Am I smarter or dumber for knowing that her name is not Tyra Bank?



Oh yeah, this guy looks like the picture of health. I’ll definitely seek advice from him on which healthy foods and supplements I should take… as well as where to buy some sweet BluBlockers.



I fully endorse vagueness! Friends, this thing and that other stuff REALLY WORKS!



It’s as if someone climbed inside my brain! I LOVE Welch’s grape juice, Neosporin, and Snuggle fabric softener! AND TYLENOL IS TOTALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITES!



I’m guessing the picture is supposed to be the “jerk” guy crossing his fingers while he says something sincere to you, but it’s still a weird visual to put with this ad. At first I was like “is it a lady crossing her fingers in hopes that her dude *isn’t* a jerk? Or crossing her fingers that her man scores high on the jerk ranking, thus confirming her suspicions that he is indeed a jerk and that she was right all along?” I overthink things.



Are you tired of watching FAKE car fires on TV? Tune to our channel, where the carbecues are 100% REAL.



My style says “STAY AWAY FROM DENIM BRASSIERES!” It does want me to pose for photos in front of giant American flags, though.



A TOTALLY NEW CONCEPT IN TEABAG CONTROL. I had to include this one based on that phrase alone.