Harvard grad blames wormhole for night spent trapped in Trophy Bar

Wasted Harvard grad Kyle Hausmann, 24, spent a night locked in Williamsburg’s Trophy Bar after passing out in the bathroom, according to yesterday’s New York Times.

From the article:

[The bartender] reached for the doorknob of the second bathroom and found it locked. “Curious,” she thought. Seeing no light coming from the bathroom, and hearing not a peep, she figured that the other bar worker had accidentally locked it behind him… . A few moments [after the bartender left], Mr. Hausmann opened the bathroom door. That is when he realized he was locked in the bar.

“My working theory was that I had gone down a wormhole,” he continued. “Someone pointed out that perhaps I had gone to Narnia. But I would’ve remembered Narnia. So it must’ve been a wormhole.”

He called his Bed-Stuy apartment — where a houseguest dozed off after failing to shake Hausmann’s roommate awake. Next, he tried pressing “redial” on the bar’s phone — resulting in what seemed like a prank call to the bartender’s mother in Las Vegas.

Then he found a laptop in the D.J. booth…

“I checked my e-mail,” he said, “which was completely not helpful. My friends were planning a get-together. And I wrote back, ‘Yes, this will work. If only I could figure out how to escape from the bar I’m trapped in.’”

Next he did a Google search for “what to do if you get locked in a bar.” “But Google did not have any good answers,” he said.

Hausmann finally passed out on a bench in the bar’s back patio. He woke at 8:30 a.m., when bar owner Jim Rowe arrived to open the security gate for the reportedly still-smiley patron. Later, they also found this note — scrawled during one of Hausmann’s failed escape attempts.



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