85% of Us readers agree: Nobody cares about Scarlett Johansson’s album

Us Magazine recently polled 1083 of its readers and found only 15% are considering purchasing actress Scarlett Johansson’s album when it’s released by Rhino Records’ Atco label on May 20. (It has not yet been calculated how many of the 15% was just Woody Allen voting over & over.)

The album, titled “Anywhere I Lay My Head,” is comprised of 10 Tom Waits covers and one original song (track listing here). Given her much-criticized performance as a back-up singer for Jesus and Mary Chain at last year’s Coachella festival (disastrous video footage here), I don’t have high hopes for this debut. She’s certainly no Zooey Deschanel, after all.

Then again, the girl may have a shot at a decent release given the big names she somehow got to collaborate on the project — including the Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ Nick Zinner, TV on the Radio’s David Sitek, members of the band Celebration, and (holy shit) David Bowie, whose vocals appear on two tracks. And, you know, there’s also the thing about Tom Waits having written every song but one.

In this write-up at Pitchfork, studio owner Steve Nails described the music as “…a great experiment. Very avant garde. She sounds like Marilyn Monroe.” He also “predicts her CD will go platinum and win a Grammy” — at which point I predict I will throw up into my own mouth a little.