My budding crush on Zach Galifianakis has me feeling conflicted

Lately I feel very conflicted about whether or not I’m developing a legitimate celebrity crush on Zach Galifianakis. Sure, the guy is hilarious. I mean, have you seen Kanye West’s “Can’t Tell Me Nothin’” video?



I can’t explain why I lose it everytime he starts tooling around with that stupid tractor. I’ve banned myself from watching the video at work because I can no longer commit to discreetly supressing giggling fits.

So— funny, yes, inarguably. And everybody knows hilarity trumps attractiveness on the crush priority list. It goes: (1) hilarious, (2) hottie, and (3) mad bling. That is the scale. And I’m not saying Zach Galifianakis isn’t attractive. I’m pretty sure I do think he is attractive. For one, I’m super down with beards. I don’t have other examples to back this up, but I feel I am at a point in my life where I’m ready for what a bearded face signifies, which is manly-ness, as opposed to boyish charm. I am totally over boyish charm.

Anyway, during my formally researched deliberation, I found myself harboring swoon-ish feelings in response to the following Michael Showalter Showalter interview, even. Which is insane, given that in this clip Galifianakis chews tobacco, looks somewhat haggard, and just in general acts pretty deplorable.



I seriously crack up every other second throughout that video. My favorite part is when he claims meeting Robert DeNiro was “boring.” My second favorite part is the entire rest of it.

The last time I felt this conflicted about a celebrity crush was in college when I had a thing for Ryan Dunn. Only that was way more ludicrous and embarassing, as he seems to genuinely be a totally useless human being who is not even all that funny. But he did also have a beard! So.